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This post examines some of the reasons why online rejection happens. Dating Sites Are a Different Environment In a face-to-face environment, we generally look for some verbal or nonverbal signals or indications of interest from someone before approaching them.In an online dating environment, such indicators are absent; all we have is maybe a couple of photos and some basic facts about the person we intend to approach.One consequence of this feeling of distance is a lack of empathy between people, perhaps resulting perhaps in a lack of concern for others, which may lead to total disregard when someone replies to a message. Online Etiquette , or breaking off communication with another person without notice, warning, or reason, is increasingly seen as quite normal. Maybe my name, what I do for a living and where I'm from..nothing else.Following a brief exchange in online dating, a person may choose to just not reply to a message. Usually, after a drink, possibly two, she has to go to the bathroom.Indeed the effect may be more prevalent in an online dating environment, where people have not met the person with whom they are communicating, compared to social media, where it is likely that people are already known to each other. 9 times out of 10, the girl will talk non stop about herself.Further, the asynchronous (non-real time) nature of the communication may foster a feeling of distance between people online. So in about 20 mins, I know everything about her (dating status, age, sex life, work, family etc.) and she knows almost nothing about me.Online dating is different, and has different rules. If there is one thing that most people can't stand, one thing that almost always gets an intense, emotional response, it's rejection. Scenario 1: You go out to a bar on the weekend with your friends.
There is good evidence that ghosting has become extremely common: A survey from the Plenty of Fish dating site (Maclean, 2016) found that 80 percent of users between the ages of 18 and 33 had experienced ghosting, with many of those who reported having been ghosted likely having ghosted others themselves. ‘Error management theory: A new perspective on biases in cross-sex mind reading’ Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 78 (1), 81-91. About 80% of the time, I decide to cut bait, so she comes back and I'm gone. Because I don't want to spend time telling her that I don't want to date an opera star (me me me me).In terms of responding to messages, Fiore, Taylor, Zhong, Mendelsohn, and Cheshire (2010) found that males replied to more first-contact messages than females (26 percent compared to 16 percent). We are not suggesting that everyone shows a lack of regard when replying to a message from another via online dating, but if you perceive a reply in such a way, the above may explain why. Don’t take rejection online in the same way as you may take it in a face-to-face context. Or rather, at some point or other, we established a certain response as our go-to, and we never bothered to alter that response moving forward. Let me give you two scenarios, and let's see if you can tell which one warrants a response of feeling rejected. Whether they're trying to find a significant other or close a business deal, they manage to pick themselves up and continue on their merry way. Not that we aren't capable of it, but we choose not to be. It's how you react to rejection that makes all the difference.