Dating advice for germans and americans

There are no rules about what to call it, who pays, where you go or what you do: if somebody wants to spend time with you alone, they're very likely interested in you and hoping that chemistry happens.

Incidentally, don't be afraid to make about half the moves yourself.

Now, when I discuss the differences between European and American, I’m referring to a mindset. American men on the other hand, tend to be goal oriented, with the aim of getting laid.

You can very well be born in America but have a more “European” mindset and vice versa. Perhaps this ‘score mentality’ is for bragging rights, perhaps it’s for validation so they can feel wanted and desired, or perhaps it’s a pure ego play.

I never thought that the cultural background of a dating prospect would make much of a difference when it came to relationships.

However, since living in New York, I’ve had the opportunity to meet many different people from various backgrounds and it’s become clear that there are definite cultural norms specific to European men versus American men (especially New Yorkers).

American men will rush to get you in bed as quick as possible, while European men don’t appear to have the same rush (or desperation). European men don’t ‘date’ – in the formal way that Americans are used to.

The below is a list of some of the themes and commonalities observed.

The dynamic may or may not move into a serious relationship, but they are not trying to gather other options or back up plans in case it doesn’t. Americans (both men and women) have been socialized to play games, to act unavailable, to wait a particular amount of time before texting back…

There are a set of ritualized rules that are abided by in American dating culture, and if you don’t play within them, you are labeled as desperate or needy or undesirable.

In America, sexual education is not taught until one hits their teens, if they are taught at all. It’s no surprise that American men are left to their own devices, subconsciously learning about sex through porn and the media. The latest law passed in France where excessively skinny models need to prove their health is a testament to that.

But when you’re surrounded by American media, filled with Barbie dolls, waif skinny models and Baywatch breasts, the idea of what ‘beauty’ is becomes skewed. European men have a quiet confidence, a demeanor that doesn’t need to scream out loud to prove themselves. The dating culture involves trying out many different options at the same time.

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