Dating after 50 an getting past friends protect yourself from online dating

Five months after their reunion, she and Stephen were engaged.While Marta’s teenage love had made the first move, Sally Grounds, 72, set things in motion at her 50th high school reunion.Sally had run with the most popular girls and football players at University High in Los Angeles.At the reunion, Sally, who’s 51, spotted a man who was 65, trim, strong, and tan as a surfer—Gene Grounds.

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Most see their relationship as a spiritual practice, an opportunity to work on hurtful patterns and expand their capacity to forgive. Each woman feels her current partner is her beshert—Yiddish for “destined mate”—and that all her experiences, past relationships, and heartbreak were necessary to prepare her for this union. She enjoyed being with her son, Jefferson, her friends, and her animals. “I’d gone from man to man since puberty and had three marriages that were all painful and ended in divorce.” She knew she had to heal the wounds that kept her repeating the same pattern with men, “so that aspect of myself closed up shop.

“I thought, 'If I’m not married or engaged by my next birthday, I’m going to retire in Budapest,'“ she recalls.

“That statement told me that I really wanted to be married, and if I wasn’t, I would make a big change in my life.” She hired a matchmaker, who arranged a few dates that fizzled.

My mother met the love of her life when she was 84. I love my house, my work, and my kids, and every day I’m grateful for good health and what I see as a fortunate life.

A widow for nine years, she spotted Harold Lapidus, a retired doctor, standing alone at a bridge club. But sometimes I ache for a partner to check in with, talk, snuggle, and grow spiritually with.

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    He is author of more than 50 books, including John Piper is founder and teacher of desiring and chancellor of Bethlehem College & Seminary.