Early dating rules for women
“If they start dating too soon, they are likely to choose someone who is emotionally less mature, as they themselves are, than if they waited a year.” People tend to choose partners who are at their same emotional maturity level.It would follow then, that recovering individuals would choose differently after working on themselves first.Learning to feel emotions again, including positive feelings of love and intimacy, can be one of the most challenging parts of recovery, but also one of the most rewarding.Contrary to what a lot of people think – that an addict’s job is the first thing to go – drug use shows up first in the dysfunction of the addict’s relationships.Most recovering addicts have a long history of dysfunctional and destructive relationships.
Only when people know who they are and what they have to offer can they find a mate who is an appropriate match for their values, interests and goals.
We teach people how to treat us, so with longer term recovery, we are going to demand to be treated differently than when we are new to recovery.” Recovery is hard work that requires a full-time commitment.
Returning to daily life without the security of being able to use drugs as a coping mechanism can be terrifying, particularly when drug cravings and triggers to use set in.
Codependent individuals focus too heavily on the needs of their partner (“My happiness is dependent on making/keeping you happy”), and define themselves by their relationship, sometimes lowering their personal standards to please someone else.
Some women choose abusive partners in early recovery because they lack discernment or grew accustomed to being treated poorly in childhood.