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I could be making a vast generalization, but to an extent, this doesn’t matter. 24 year old Samantha is a recently qualified graduate, working as a trainee accountant.“With online dating, you generally go first from messaging, to maybe texting and then to actually meeting up in person.” says Bernie Hogan of the Oxford Internet Institute.“But what’s instant is the notion that there are people out there and a potential availability of people to interact with.The thing is, even if she’s interesting, she most likely wrote a whole bunch of clichés in her profile: “I’m nice, smart, kind, warm, funny, honest and family-oriented. I’m looking for my best friend, lover and partner in crime for a lifetime of love and laughter.” (Scary how easy it is to approximate the typical online dating profile, isn’t it? Even a specific response like “I noticed you enjoy biking. For example, if you’re writing to the foot model, you might say: Let’s drink to our fashion careers, Evan Sure, it’s a little goofy, but people actually respond to this stuff. Because it’s different, it’s audacious and, in a strange way, it’s kind of smart. It’s not an idle compliment or a generic, “Ooh, look what we have in common” line. Start your comment in the subject heading of the email, like this…I can fix your computer, landscape your backyard and probably even hotwire your car, but, for some reason, Ti Vo programming seems to elude me as well. Playing it safe is fine, but if an attractive person has dozens, if not hundreds, of options, you need to shake things up a little bit to break through the clutter. Interesting piece, which I’ll have to parse at length when I have the time…but it leads me to throw out a theory I’ve been kicking around.

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It’s been reflected by the explosion of interest in services like Guardian Soulmates and the dating app Tinder which has taken cyberspace by storm over the past year, especially in the UK where its user base has been growing by almost 25% per week.Remember, that’s why she wrote it — because she wants you to get to know her, not because she wants to be told for the umpteenth time that she’s hot. NOT the thing you like the most, NOT the thing you find most attractive, NOT the thing you have in common. It might be how she doesn’t know how to program her Ti Vo. Yes, you think it’s cool that she also likes Robert De Niro movies and skiing in Vail. The sillier and more over-the-top your email, the funnier it’ll be.Men who treat women as unique and interesting individuals stand a much greater shot of receiving a response. The most interesting tidbit in her profile is the thing that sounds like it couldn’t have been written by anybody else in the world. Whatever it is, take her quirky tidbit and turn it into your pickup line. The most effective way to catch someone’s attention in an initial email is with fiction. Because the truth, as we’ve established, is boring. But does any of that sound like a good pickup line to you? A good joke doesn’t require an explanation — it’s obviously a joke. Talk to you soon, Evan If these kinds of emails don’t work for you, no problem. Just keep in mind that the confidence it takes to write an email like that is compelling.And much like social media, online dating simplifies the act of interacting with other people.So just as Facebook has a ‘like’ button where you don’t need to say anything, these platforms provide a variety of modest cues which you can use to signify some kind of attraction without having to really commit yourself.” For many people, this makes online dating a more attractive option, providing the ability to put a whole variety of feelers out while making the process far less daunting than in real life.

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